I used to be the smartest person in my household. Well, maybe I never was. But, I did get just a little respect around here. Ok, maybe I didn’t get respect per se, but at least my husband and daughter tried to keep their condescension to a minimum.
Now they are out of control. We all took the Test The Nation I.Q. test that was televised here on the Fox Network. Apparently, my husband Michael is a genius. I am humbled before him. You know how the saying goes, “Big feet, big hands, big brain, big…”
Yes, that’s right, big dictionary is the next logical step there. Good, you passed that part of the test. It’s true too. I fell in love with the man based almost entirely on the size of his Webster’s. It’s the New Universal Unabridged Second Deluxe Edition, and it’s quite formidable. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. But, I digress.
The point here is that he got quite a few more questions right than I did. Charlotte didn’t finish taking the test. My daughter is just going on the assumption that if she had taken the whole test, she too would be smarter than me.
She told me yesterday, “You are the dumbest apple in the bunch.” She confused a few adages there, but her meaning was clear.
I wish I hadn’t finished taking that test either, because I know my beloved family will use this against me for the rest of my life. In every argument, my shortage of I.Q. points will be brought up, and I will be forced to succumb to their will.
What a dumb apple I am.