People keep almost running me off the road. On two separate occasions within the past week, some moron has tried occupy the exact spot I’m driving in on the expressway. I swear, I’m not driving in their blind spot or doing anything stupid. All I can figure is that these people think it’s a-okay to cross over two lanes of traffic without bothering to LOOK where they’re going – ’cause, really, what could be in that lane way over there? Certainly not a little Honda Civic. I guess they’re driving on faith or something. Let me tell you, my horn is not nearly loud enough to convey my lack of amusement at this shit.
Then again, I am willing to consider the possibility that my car is turning invisible – only to other people, of course. It’ll be kinda like Wonder Woman’s invisible airplane. That would rock…well, except for the fact that I’ll probably die when some fool hits me with his big red truck. Yeah, except for that.
But, if the universe is setting me up with some Wonder Woman gear, its next priority should be giant Linda Carter tits. Oh, and a lasso of truth.
“Are you staring at my giant tits?…Don’t lie.”