Buying A Politician

When my husband and I win the Powerball, it’s going to need to be a healthy sum of money. Put simply, one or two million dollars won’t meet our needs at this point. We are not greedy. Honest.

Here’s why. We want to be able to support ourselves in our retirement, our families in their retirement, and I just have to have a politician. They are so cute!

Isn’t it adorable the way George W. Bush wags his tail and lies the way he does? Precious. He said recently he had to invade Iraq, because “he wouldn’t let them in.” Bush is referring to weapons inspectors and the aforementioned “he” is Saddam Hussein. Hmm. Adorable.

I’m assuming they go for a lot. You have to own an oil company to buy a president these days, but I’ll settle for a senator or a supreme court judge. Either will do.

Since my vote didn’t count in the last primary election, I feel that being a billionaire is the only thing that will give me a voice in the land of the free these days.

Not to mention, what with all tax cuts for the rich driving the economy into the proverbial toilet, having a nest egg of over a billion might be the only way to survive the next depression.

I’m optimistic as usual. With the further deregulating of the airwaves by the FCC and congress and big corporate sponsors buying up more country music stations to convince folks that the republican agenda is a loving one, I see a bright future. For Bush – not you or me. Come on now.

The people who benefit least from Bush’s policies are oftentimes the same ones who are ignorant enough of what he actually does that they will vote for him.

The Family Flexibility Act comes to mind. It eliminates overtime pay for some workers. It is good for one group. Big corporations who can further screw their employees.

But, it does have a catchy name. It doesn’t benefit families like the Family and Medical Leave Act that Clinton proposed did, but it has a good name so that people will think that it does.

I don’t want to be negative here. I still have hope. Please, Dear Lord, if you hear prayers, let me win the lottery, so I can once again sleep at night. Otherwise, I might be taking Sominex for up to five more years.

Regaining women’s suffrage might be an issue in five years at the rate Dubya is going. I wouldn’t be surprised at all.