Almost Famous

I invited Jules of lily white intentions to come over and interview me. I’m practicing for the day when I leap out of obscurity and into the spotlight…I feel it coming together. People will see me and cry. Fame!

If you’d like to be interviewed, the following rules apply:
1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here’s the interview:

Jules – It’s the night before your execution. (Yes, I know, you’d never do anything worthy of execution, but play along here) What will you order for your last meal?

Me – If I can get breakfast even though it’s nighttime, I’ll have a three egg omelet with cheese, green peppers and tons of mushrooms, hash-browns, pancakes, and a few cups of coffee. Please don’t forget the ketchup for the hash-browns and lots of butter and syrup for the pancakes.

Jules – When you’re dead and gone, what would you like people to look back at as your “life’s work”? (This may or may not be connected to your profession, and may include things you have not accomplished yet.)

Me – Well, a big part of my life is raising my daughter. I’d like for her to be well-adjusted and happy. After I’m gone, if Charlotte remembers me fondly, I’ve succeeded. She’s a good kid who cares a lot about other people, so if after I’m dead she has only bad things to say about me, I was truly a louse.

Also, I’d love to be remembered for something I’ve written that positively influenced another person’s life. So far, I saved someone from spending $6 dollars on leg wax, but I hope to do a little better than that someday.

Jules – What thing about yourself do you love best and why?

Me – I love that I love music. My ability to lose myself in certain songs has helped me get through some difficult times.

Jules – Your daughter comes home from a weekend at a friend’s house with blue hair, a pierced tongue and a tattoo that reads “Mom”. In order of importance, you react…

Me – Well, Michael and I have discussed this on several occasions and we agree that in order for Charlotte to properly rebel against us during her teenage years she is going to have to become a Christian fundamentalist who loves red meat and drives a gas guzzling SUV. So, in all likelihood, she won’t even bother with the punk rock thing.

But, if she did, I’d comment on the tattoo first, because that’s a permanent mark on her skin. Tattoos can get pretty ugly as their bearers age. Years ago, I saw an old guy on the bus with about 20 tattoos. I could hardly discern what any of them were supposed to be. They just looked like blue splotches, because the skin they were imprinted on had crinkled up. By the way, are the letters m-o-m her boyfriends initials? I only ask because there’s no way in hell she’s going to like me that much. If she does, I’m not doing my job and I need to nag her more.

Next I’d react to the tongue stud by saying, “Oh my, that’s gotta hurt. How are you supposed to keep that from getting infected?” How would you keep that from getting infected, by the way? Peroxide maybe? I’m getting woozy thinking about it. That’s gotta hurt.

The blue hair I might not even comment on. If I did it would only be to say something like, “Can I put some beads in that for you? You are going for the My Pretty Pony look, right?” But, I wouldn’t be mad about it. When all is said and done, it’s just hair.

Jules – Boss of the house or sweet little mouse?

Sweet little mouse. Michael is always boss.