Heartfelt Congratulations and a Thinly Disguised Threat

Congratulations to my sister and her partner on getting pregnant! Michelle has wanted to be a Mom since we were kids ourselves, and I’ve no doubt that she and Sherri are going to raise a healthy, happy and very spoiled child.

I’d also like to take a moment to assure her that I’m going to be the most responsible and sensible sort of aunt and that thoughts of exacting revenge upon her have never crossed my mind.

I mean, it’s not like she bought my daughter a make-up kit for Christmas this past year that included shades of red and burgundy that even the most brazen whore would blush to wear. And it’s not like I’ve had to argue with that same daughter almost every day for the past three months, because she is insisting on wearing bright red lipstick to school. It’s not like that at all.

But, hypothetically speaking, even if my sister had done something like that, it’s not like I’d take her kid out for an impromptu nose piercing or a death metal tattoo.

That would be wrong.

But, just for shits and giggles, let’s just say I did have an inkling to take some purely theoretical revenge. Why Michelle might even misconstrue this post as a threat!

I’d hate for her to get the wrong idea!

However, if she did misunderstand my intentions here, I guess I’d want to make sure one thing was clear to her:

If she’d play nice from here on out, I’d play nice too.

All My Love and Good Wishes,
Aunt Debbie

PS – Hoop or stud?

Below: When We Was Fab
Me and my sister in December, 1990. That’s a Christmas tree behind us. (I tell you this in an effort to prevent any budding rumors that Michelle is a unicorn.)