We went Halloween costume shopping today. I believe the best costumes are usually of the home-made variety, but we were looking around anyway.
While we were in the costume shop, I noticed adult-sized Raggedy Ann and Andy costumes. This got me to thinking about the things we do for love. Obviously, if a man is wearing an Andy costume, his significant other wanted to dress as Raggedy Ann, and she somehow convinced him to be Andy so that their costumes matched.
Ladies, if your guy will dress up as a rag doll for you, it means one of three things:
1. He really loves you. We’re talking about that “Burning Love” Elvis sang about. Nothing to sniff at here. This is the real thing, baby.
2. He cheated on you, you found out, and now he’s trying to make up. Consider forgiving him. He’s wearing red yarn on his head. He’s sorry. Next to shooting himself outright, this is the best thing he could do to show you just how far he’s willing to go to make you trust him again.
Then again, the more I think about this scenario, the madder I get at your man for philandering. So, now I’m thinking you should break up with him. But, do it after the costume party, and be sure to take lots of pictures of him in that outfit. You’ll want to remember him that way.
3. You promised to do something pretty damn kinky in return for his compliance. I don’t know what it is you offered to do, but it must be some hot stuff, you naughty little Raggedy Ann, you. Also, he really loves you. Come on, he knew you’d end up doing the kinky thing anyway. He’s wearing those striped socks, because he loves you. I’m hearing Celine Dion in my head again. Hate that! But, your man wearing the Andy costume reminds me that our hearts will go on.
I gotta go. I’m getting choked up.