This is one of those subjects that hits close to home for me. That’s why I’ve put off writing about it. I don’t want to come off as flippant or nonchalant about an issue that means a lot both to me and to people close to me.
But, if ever there was a time to take a firm stand and bury my feet, that time is now.
My husband said to me before we ever got legal documentation of our marriage that he already considered us a married couple because of what we have together.
He’s right, of course. What makes a marriage between two people is a lot more than what’s written on a license. But, insurance is nice. If we wanted to adopt a child, we could. That’s nice too.
Interestingly enough, if we were not married and we were living together, we could not adopt a child. I guess it’s somehow immoral not to have that piece of paper.
Our family life didn’t change a bit after Michael and I got a marriage license. Charlotte is not traumatized in the slightest from those days when we didn’t have it. She’s never even seen the document that legitimizes us, and I think she’s ok with that.
I’m slowly ambling up to my point here. I have two friends who are gay and who cannot get a marriage license for that reason. They’ve lived together for sixteen years, and believe you me, they are married whether they have a license or not.
They never have sex anymore (from what I hear), they don’t go out to bars and they lead really boring lives in general. They work. They read. They watch tv. Pretty wild, huh? No need for all you straight men to get jealous of all the butt sex they get. Rest easy. They aren’t getting it any more often than you are.
I don’t see an argument against gay marriage as rational at all. Saying that we can be non-discriminatory but not allow marriage sounds a lot like that separate-but-equal crap they had not so long ago for our African American brothers and sisters. There is no equality when you are segregating a part of the population by saying, in effect, “Your rights stop here while ours go to way out there. But, hey, we’re not beating you up as much now.”
Sorry if I get a little preachy. But, I just got to thinking about how many straight couples have spent a lot less time together and have a lot less invested in each other than my friends do. For example, all those Hollywood types who marry and re-marry and divorce every week. That stuff goes on, and those people get marital benefits while two good people who have loved each other for sixteen years can’t get any respect from our government.
I’ve no doubt that the same thoughts I’ve shared here today have been better expressed elsewhere, but I’m still glad to have finally had my say on the matter.
So, how are you?