Have you ever met even one person who is happy with his/her driver’s license photo? I’ll assume your answer is “No.” But, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on this one.
Some of you may have heard stories about the woman who got a good picture taken at the DMV, and then, on the very same day, she got a good hair cut at Fantastic Sams. Or, so the legend goes.
But, I’m convinced that such an occurrence would test the very fabric of reality. Furthermore, the burden of proof in this case should rest, not in my hands, but in the hands of those who who would stand to profit if such a thing were even remotely possible.
So, anyway, I got a terrible driver’s license mug shot taken yesterday, which I will have to live with until January of 2007. I’m average looking, but in this particular photograph, I strongly resemble what I always imagined Grendel would look like if he wasn’t all covered in fur from head to foot.
So now I’m wondering if super hot people have the same problem. Do the people at the DMV work their magic to make the John Travoltas and the Courtney Coxs of the world look butt-ugly in their license photos?
Here’s something else that baffles me. You’d think, just by playing the odds, that maybe one in a few thousand pictures taken at the DMV would have to turn out ok, now wouldn’t you? Yet, this doesn’t seem to be the case, so how does this anomaly happen?
I have theories, but none of them seems to completely explain away this mystery. How do they do it? Do we, the victims, play an unconscious role in this farce? Is it some sort of vast conspiracy? I don’t know for sure, so I’m asking you:
*What’s up with that?!
*My new daytime talk-show/game-show where everybody wins! The only wrong answer is the one you don’t submit! Offer void where prohibited by good sense.