Non-Threatening Boys

My nine year old daughter and I were watching t.v. when one of those long distance commercials with John Stamos came on the air.

Charlotte – He’s so cute

Me – What? John Stamos? Really? He’s doing a commercial. Have some standards for heaven’s sake. You are young. Set the bar a little higher than someone whose career is over.

Basically, when you are that age, the guys that appeal most to you are the ones you could beat up if need be. I’ve no doubt Charlotte could take John Stamos in a slap fight.

I understand that testosterone is scary to young girls. The fewer hormones a man seems to have, the more attractive he becomes.

I liked Scott Baio when I was ten. I liked him, because I imagined that, if we were ever left alone, he would never try to kiss me or do anything icky.

But, in my own defense, Scott Baio was at the height of his career on Happy Days when I was cutting his picture out of Tiger Beat Magazine. John Stamos’ life in television effectively ended when Full House was over.

Criminy, John even managed to suck worse than the rest of the cast of Full House. Who else could be upstaged by Bob Saget? Saget looked like a comic genius when you stood him next to Stamos.

My husband just pointed out that John “bagged Rebecca Stamos, so he must have something.” My answer to that is: Rebecca is in love. Love doesn’t count in this argument, because it has always made people do irrational things.

What I’m getting at here is that I wish Charlotte would develop a crush on that kid in the Harry Potter movies. He’s just starting a promising career.

I’m not saying it’s all about money. Far from it. For that matter, I’m sure John Stamos has money out the wazoo. He’s even grown his own facial hair – or pasted some on his chin. Either way, I can see he’s trying to change his baby face image.

But, he’s

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