This isn’t about the old series with Robert Urich. It’s about the city of sin. In case anyone has any doubts, I’m here to tell you – sin is fun.

Thing One and Thing Two had the right idea when they sung, “There is always some fish who doesn’t like fun.” I urge you to ignore the fishes who don’t like fun and see Las Vegas while it’s still seedy and chock full of debauchery. If that cool Cat in the Hat is there, you can hang out with him.

5 Reasons to go to Vegas:

1. Booze, bare boobies and gambling keeps the Bible bangers out.

If they are in Las Vegas they have either been corrupted, or aren’t far from it. Hallelujah!

2. There are no ugly buildings in Vegas.

They all look like cities or castles or have giant fountains. I felt like Jessica Rabbit. It was like being in a cartoon. If anyone tells you Vegas is bad, tell them it’s just drawn that way.

3. “The Big Shot” ride on the roof of The Stratosphere Tower.

The tower itself is 921 feet tall. This is one of those things that gets all that adrenalin going. Your body’s chemical reaction to being jolted up into the air at the height of 1000 ft. is simply, “Oh, f@ck! I’m gonna die!” It’s a good life-affirming kind of feeling when you make it back down to street level after that experience.

4. Penny slot machines.

Yes, there are penny slot machines. If you are a compulsive gambler in Las Vegas and you have spent all your nickels and your husband is too stubborn and mean to take out a loan even though it’s your honeymoon and if he really loved you he would, Vegas still has something for you. You can play penny slots! I recall blindly rooting about in my purse, searching for pennies to feed a machine that seemed to be in need.

Lint. Lint. Old breath mint. Penny! Woohoo! Spin. Lint. Lint. Used tissue. Penny! Woohoo! Spin. You get the picture. Sad, right?

5. O at the Bellagio. The Cirque Du Soleil rendered me speechless. Doesn’t that just say it all?

Comments 6

  • I could not agree more. Wanna go to Vegas with me??

  • Hell yes. When you going? I have pennies. 🙂

  • It took a couple of trips to Vegas for me to warm up to it, though I suspect that was basically because a trade show in Vegas is no different from a trade show in NYC is no different than …

    Cirque du Soleil is amazing.

    Weirdest memory I have of Vegas: going in to a restaurant named something like “Rosario Grill” and ordering a lobster, the waiter told me the smallest one was six pounds.

  • 6 pounds? Are they feeding them toxic waste? Now you have me thinking back to the good old days when Ultra Man was on tv. God, I’m a geezer.

  • >6 pounds? Are they feeding them toxic waste?

    Since I was on (despite being on?) an expense account, I split it with one of our sales critters. 3# of lobster is still more than a human being should eat in one sitting. I’ve thus not been able to enjoy it since. Now, I limit myself to modest servings of mussels, crabs, and an occasional prawn or two.

  • Regarding the toxic waste diet theory, I think so. I remember a very metallic flavor, not unlike a sock-ful of nickels being soaked in beer for a week or two.

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