Send in the Clowns…Don’t Bother They’re Here

My experience of communicating with people here on the web is generally a positive one. People like her and him, and him and her brighten up my day whenever they drop in to visit. I usually like getting feedback, or I would have shut off comments by now.

So, please keep in mind while reading this that I feel nothing but love for all of my readers who at least so far haven’t been outright nasty to me. (Thanks for that, and, hey, keep up the good work.)

Unfortunately, some of my visitors in the past couple of days have been a little creepy, or insane, or stupid, or any number of combinations of all three of these qualities melted together.

The word “zany” comes immediately to mind, and, believe me, I don’t see fit to pull that word out often. It is to be used sparingly like vanilla or super hot sauce. A little “zany” goes a long way. But, see, I’ve already used it twice here, so that should tell you something.

It is to those zany folks who have been posting here that I direct the following message:

If you have ever been referred to or could conceivably ever be referred to by one of these titles, I encourage you not to post here:

A.) The kooky neighbor who steals our garbage

B.) Charles Manson

C.) That guy who tries to sniff you

D.) The crackwhore who pees freely in the hall

Also, if any of the following apply specifically to you, please refrain from posting here:

A.) You use the word “masturbate” more than twice when replying to a post where I never used that word at all. Then, you suggest that I am a “token wife” even though you never met me or my husband. In concluding your unwarranted attack on my personal life, you inexplicably thank me for considering your opinions.

B.) You are pretty sure my words are jumping off your computer screen to attack you. (Ed. Note: They are not. Please believe me. Just go lie down.)

C.) You have a severed head on your lap, and you are bottle feeding it as you read.

Now, please understand, just because I don’t want you to post here, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get these things off your chest. You should. I encourage you…no, I urge you to paint the words on your body or scrawl them on the walls in crayon, or just write a long letter to your congressperson*.

Try not to hurt yourself or others today. Oh, and don’t run with scissors. If you find you must run with scissors, aim the sharp end downward. Thanks.

Have a good weekend everyone. Hugs.

*Politicians need a good scare now and then just to keep them honest.

Comments 5

  • All I can say is that zany is a much nicer word than I would have used.

  • i’m gonna guess that the zany comments were made on old entries? that’s what was happening to me. so i found a script that closes old comments. since then i haven’t had any trouble. send me and email if you’d like the link to the script. fyi…it requires php though.

    😀 ps. thanks for the link to my page. the blog isn’t on the main navigation though … so if you’d like to link to that it’s … hee. i’m feeling a little zany myself right about now. Happy Tuesday!

  • I’ll change the link. Wasn’t sure you’d prefer the link to the blog or your main menu. 🙂

    I may turn off old comments like you suggested, because that is where my trouble lies. I never thought I was so controversial, ya know?

  • i ‘hide’ the blog for silly reasons. not too interested in having work people get to it, but i’m fine with other people linking to it.

    as for the zaniness… repeat after me. “it’s not me, it’s them.” say that as often as needed. people are crazy. and not the good crazy.

  • administrative minutae
    Mitch asked me what the most comments I’ve ever received on a blog entry. I looked, and it’s currently 12, and counting, on this entry about the program. I’m not sure why, but several of the folks visiting think I am the do not call list …

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