I’m Not Just Some Sex Object

I’m lightly toasted right now. Just like an almond… er, an almond drenched in vodka. I bring you an urgent message. Ha ha. I almost typed “urgent massage” just then, which is something entirely different. Write your own jokes about that if you’d like.

I was so sexy tonight in my lunch lady outfit that Michael could not keep his eyes off me. (He grimaced quite a bit, but he couldn’t make himself look away.)

Anyway, my urgent message is this: When I post the pictures that Michael took of me in my costume, please show some restraint. I’m a married woman. Don’t start sending me flowers or candy in an attempt to woo me. You’ll lose my respect that way. Show some class. Send money instead. Large bills. Visa or mastercard. No checks.

It’s true that some people see a woman with a hairnet and a big mole on her chin, and all they can think about is sex sex sex. But, you folks are better than that, I’m sure…

I’ll post the pics tomorrow. Try not to urgently massage yourselves while looking at them.

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