My largest piece of luggage is much to big to be allowed as a carry-on, yet the airlines are forced to let me onto planes with it.

It is, of course, my mouth.

I use it to tote things around like I’m a golden retriever or something. If my hands are full, my teeth will suffice. What the hell is that about? You’d think I was raised by wolves.

Anyway, I’m not overly conscious of this habit, but sometimes I’ll catch myself in the act and it cracks me up.

While I was putting away laundry yesterday, I had my arms full of clean socks when I noticed a lonely pair of Michael’s underwear on top of the basket. Thirty seconds later, I had put his socks away into the drawer and I removed his freshly laundered underwear from my teeth.

When the full realization of what I had done crept up on me, I took a long moment to ponder how stupid I must have looked standing in front of the dresser with white Fruit of the Looms dangling from my chin.

I’ll bet that was quite a photo op. And you missed it.

Thank God.

Comments 5

  • At least they were clean!

  • As your mouth is to you, my feet are to me – I move around the house picking things up with my toes and either flinging them in the general direction they should be headed, or tossing them up so I can grab them with a free hand. Of course, my habit is based on laziness while yours is not.

  • Dayment ,
    Yeah. That is a comfort actually. 😀

    First off, I love that! You don’t have to bend over. Awesome!

    Second, I relate to the laziness of it. Before I had a remote control, I made a point of sitting close enough to the television to change the channel with my big toe.

    I’m not skilled enough to pick up things with my feet without suffering toe cramps, but you’ve convinced me that this is something I should work on.

  • *LMAO* Yeah I do that too. You can grip with your teeth, therefore it’s a very valid form of carrying grippable stuff!

    SK does the things with the toes… he’s got super human big size 16 feet with these dextrous toes that can pick up an ice cream scoop – I’ve watched. (Then I washed it because that’s just, you know.. icky.)

  • Well, chalk that up to two people who pick up or fling things with their feet. Mine was initially laziness, then entertainment value (you’d be surprised what a five year old finds funny).

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