You’re traveling through another dimension, not only of sight and sound but of food. A journey into a wondrous refrigerator whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead.
Your next stop: “The Salad Zone”…
While humming gently to herself, Ms. Debossky places her salad onto the third shelf of her refrigerator. She suspects nothing out of the ordinary.
How could she? How could she possibly know that soon – too soon – she would bear witness to a freak chain reaction and that dinner would not be the same again?
The sun is now low in the sky. Dinner time approacheth in suburbia. Ms. Debossky begins to set the table. Napkins are put out, forks are set out. Crackers are scrounged up. Sodas are poured.
But, what of the salad dressing? Ms. Debossky knew it must be retrieved.
It would be a simple matter. The dressing was located on the top shelf of the refrigerator. More specifically, it was located on the top shelf and ominously close to the back ledge of the refrigerator where a crevice three inches wide and three foot deep existed. Was this just what it appeared to be? A space at the rear of the refrigerator? Or, was it the very mouth of hell itself?
Either way, she can’t eat a salad without dressing on it. So she reaches out hesitantly over the other two hundred or so items that are on the top shelf. Carefully. Carefully. But, not carefully enough.
(If this weren’t black and white tv, one might say she was #$%^@# by the fickle finger of fate.)
She touches the bottle with the edge of her hand, and it falls unceremoniously into the hellmouth.
The dressing falls down the space of two shelves and hits a can of Sprite on the third shelf – the very same third shelf she had placed the salad on earlier. The Sprite can then bumps into the salad and the salad falls onto the kitchen floor.
Ms. Debossky barely saved herself from swooning at the sight of those greens lying naked on the linoleum.
Her mind raced. What would she do? Her precious salad lay in a pile on the floor. On the floor! She wrung her head in her hands and wondered what else they might have for dinner…
Ms. Debossky thought she would have a simple salad, but she got more than she bargained for. Inconvenient things happen when you step over into
long dramatic pause
“The Salad Zone.”
*A dramatization of an absolutely true story. The name has been changed…well, just for the hell of it. It was me, ok?