Today I put off writing by mowing the lawn. This is frequently not the case. In fact, I have been known far more often to put off mowing the lawn by writing a long-winded rant about Easy Cheese or whatever other silly thing comes to mind.
Now, obviously, if you are one of my neighbors, you’d like me to mow the lawn before it resembles a corn field, whereas if you are one of my regular readers, you’d probably prefer that I update my frickin’ blog more than once a month.
And, I guess I piss off just about everybody when I put off both writing and mowing the lawn by doing the laundry.
As to my finding forgiveness for putting off the yard work, I may be forced to be more hands on in my show of contrition:
“I’m sorry my lawn looks like shit today, Mr Jones, but could I interest you in a hand job? My husband says I’m very good. No? Well, is there anything I could do for the wife? I’m open minded and I do feel pretty bad about the number of weeds. Yes, I’ve been using that weed killer you recommended with no luck…”
Nah, I suppose it’d be easier to mow than get into all that mess. Once you start offering hand jobs to the neighbor men, they begin hanging around the door like stray cats, and I won’t go down that road again – no matter how much I hate doing yard work.
PS – Ren, I’m still banned, you spam-reducing bitch. Don’t make me come all the way to Australia to kick your ass…Wait, do you still have that big sword? You do? Um, well, what I meant was that it would sure be nice if I were allowed to post comments on your site again…