Question: Is she so desperate for material that she’s doing another weird searches post?
Answer: Yes. Yes, she is. I is. Whatever.
So, yeah, the words underlined below are the actual search words some unlucky bastards typed into their search bars only to find my site. My responses immediately follow the search words.
lonely fat and horny
Don’t use this on your resume, but hey we’ve all been there. When I was lonely, fat and horny, I tended to add drunkenness into the mix whenever possible. I found it took the edge off the other three maladies quite nicely.
And, when you’re lonely, fat, horny and drunk, you’ll feel the world is your oyster – that is, until the thought of oysters in general makes you puke up all that tequila you swigged down like it was fucking Kool-aid. What the fuck was I…were you thinking?
piss in shoe
Was that your shoe? I’m shorry. Couldn’t help it. Drunk too mush tequila. Got a mint? Thank you very mush. Wanna see my etshings? No? You sure? Ok, I’m pulling my pants back up now.
answer me great oracle
Loose lips sink ships.
photos of bored mussels
The last time I threw a party the Mollusks left early using a lame excuse about having to filter silt early the next morning, but at least I got a picture before they rushed off.
We of the open mouth clan do tend to have the problem of unintentionally swallowing more than our share of bugs but, damn, if you’re eating enough of them to do taste comparisons, maybe you should consider shutting up for a minute or two. Just a suggestion.
Prepare to be boarded! We are commandeering this Ore Ida vessel. If ye desireth to live, ye had best tell Cap’n Morgan where ye keepest the french fries. Arr.
what is a pair of tens called?
It’s called – drumroll please – a pair of tens. *faint clash of cymbals*
Thanks for coming out, folks. I’ll be here all week.
veet hair removal hurts your legs
See my choir robe? Turn and face the congregation, sister.
how to wipe your ass
Uh, not to be rude, but if you’re old enough to read, you’re getting this lesson kinda late.
That’s all I’ve got for you today. But, I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Cher:
“This is a song for the lonely (and fat and horny), can you hear me callin’ you?”