The Princess and the Booger

My phobias are mind games that I can enjoy playing all by myself, just like solitaire.

As I grow older I find I prefer these sorts of head games to the kind that more actively involve other people.

This wasn’t always the case. My exes would all be happy to attest that I used to love to play Guess How You Fucked Up, which is perhaps more commonly known as Passive-Aggressive Charades. The object was simple. I would sulk in various poses (hands on hips, face in a book, fetal position etc.) and my companion would then guess at what he had done that day to upset me. It was fun, so I offered more than just one edition. For example, there was the Guess How You Fucked Up Deluxe Edition which featured 50% more sniffing. Or, the Guess How You Fucked Up Family Edition. The family edition required that before the game I’d called my sister who’d told me (Duh!) that I was absolutely right to be all sulky and pissy.

But, since those kinds of couples games tend to be detrimental to relationships, I try not to play them now.

No. These days when I get a hankerin’ to be nutty I seem to choose my phobias more often than not.

I’m a germophobe, first and foremost, with a few other phobias thrown in for good measure. And, let me tell ya, a hotel room offers up a veritable sm

Comments 3

  • or the good old game of “how many people have pissed in this shower”?

  • Passive-Aggressive Charades! I love that game! We should have a tournament.

  • I totally have to pull off all the blankets and look down in the toe area of the sheets. A friend once found a bloody band-aid in her supposedly clean hotel bed. No need to thank me for that new phobia. 🙂

    I also remove that top blanket which NEVER gets washed. And crumple it in a ball in the corner. Then I wash my hands. But the maids always want to put the damn thing back on the bed, so I try to not let them in the room.

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