YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

Ok, so it’s time to fess up about Friday’s game. Thanks to everyone for playing! Most comments EVER! Woohoo!

*clears throat and regains composure*

Story 1 was true.

It’s a little easier to believe if you know us personally. See, Michael uses the word “bitch” as a term of endearment for me. No, really. I know it’s weird, but he always has.

Apologies to those of you who got thrown off by the “S.” I improvised the letters, because I didn’t remember which letters were guessed already. She probably did know at that age that “bitch” started with a “B”, and if I had thought about that, I wouldn’t have put the “S” in there. Hey, at least I remembered the word she was guessing at was “sweetheart.”

*shoots self in head*

My faulty memory aside, the little tale remains mostly true.

Wouldn’t that story be absolutely perfect as one of those Reader’s Digest cute kid anecdotes? If it weren’t so damn inappropriate?

Story 2 was false with a little truth thrown in.

I did have a nun as my first grade teacher. Her name was really Sister James Albert, and she really was as mean as she was short. But, she never got reprimanded for whacking a kid in the face. She preferred to smack our little hands with a ruler. I used to get that treatment almost daily for holding my pencil incorrectly. The good news is, she never broke my spirit. To this day, I hold my pencil however I please. Fight the power!

As to nuns getting male names, I’m still researching that with no luck at all so far. I may have to resort to using a search engine other than Google. (Gasp!)

Story 3 was true.

What’s more, I hope to use that slightly traumatic experience at the gym as an excuse for any and all of my weight gain over the next twenty years. Do you think I’ll be able to milk it for that long?

Comments 3

  • I’m still chuckling over “my ass willed itself to move.” Great job.

  • well, you got me! 🙂

  • I believe nuns used to get named after saints or beatified people, who were often male. My local nuns have recently been allowed to revert to their baptismal names, so Sister Brendan is now, disconcertingly, Sister Dorothy.

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