One Reason I Don’t Own a Gun

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

How much have you personally ever wanted to pull another driver out of his or her vehicle and beat the living shit out of them? I only ask, because that feeling is still lingering with me even though I’m no longer in my car.

Let me tell you what just happened. By all means, if you think I’m in the wrong, tell me so.

Here’s the scenario:

I’m driving on a two lane street. I come across a stopped vehicle. She waves her hand as if motioning me to pass. Seeing no oncoming traffic in the other lane, I start to pass her. As soon as I do this, her vehicle starts moving, then she starts beeping at me like I’m in the wrong. I’m signaling and waiting for her to let me back into the right hand lane. She never does. I had to slow down and let her pass me, all the while terrified that someone was going to run into me head-on.

*PRIMAL SCREAM*

Even when I try to give her the benefit of the doubt here, she still adds up to be an asshole IMHO.

Let’s say, the bitch in question literally had a bee in her bonnet and she was busy trying to wave it out of her hair when I unknowingly happened upon her stopped vehicle. Let’s also say, she has just finished scaring the bee out of her hair when she sees me attempting to pass her – even though she totally didn’t wave me on. What, then, is her excuse for driving right next to me in an attempt to prevent me from getting back into the proper lane?

No matter whether I got a wave or not, I was passing her when she was STOPPED. How much trouble would it be for her to simply REMAIN STOPPED for 3-5 seconds longer? Too much, I guess. Bee Woman had places to go.

Let me tell you, folks, I have never been so close to following someone home to do violence upon them than I was today. I wanted to shake her until her stupid head fell off and then kick it into the street, and then kick it some more, and then invite others to kick it with me….

Um, yeah…I guess I’m done now.

Thanks for indulging me this tirade. I think I’ve gotten some of the venom out of my system. Now for some herbal tea, a nice quiet dinner and a hot bath. No more murderous thoughts tonight. Unless, of course, I happen to see her on the street in front of my house and then you can bet your sweet ass that it’s on.

Comments 3

  • LOL. Road rage is one of those things I could really do without. I always wonder, is it illegal to install an electronic matrix board (like the scoreboards in stadiums, but smaller) on your car and light up messages to cuss out s**t-headed drivers like these? Better yet, how about a missile launcher to blow them out of the road and make life easier for everyone?

  • Woman like that deserves to be pooped on by many birds. Yes. That’s a good curse for her. Today, I hope she gets pooped on by every bird that flies by. 🙂 What a beeeeyatch!

  • all evil bee women should be shot. bee men too.

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