Baby, Why Don’t We Go Down to Kokomo? Um. Cuz It’s Icky. Duh.

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the Bahamas? Sandy beaches, perhaps? Lovely ocean views?

How about rabies? Yes, rabies. What about hepatitis A or hepatitis B? Did malaria jump immediately into your consciousness when I mentioned the Caribbean?

No?! Well, you may need to sit down. I have some bad news.

My family is planning a cruise. Eight days in the Caribbean. It sounded lovely to me. Truly wonderful.

Then I saw the CDC website. Uh, the grossness level on that site is extreme. According to the CDC, the whole world is a festering disease-ridden ball of fecal matter, and if you accidentally touch any part of it, you need to go wash your fucking hands – NOW.

Although the site doesn’t list any required vaccines for our trip, the recommended vaccines, particularly the ones for rabies, rather disturbed me. I mean, we won’t be straying too far from the ship on any of our excursions, which should be a comfort, but what if there are rabid beasts waiting for us at the docks? I say “beasts” ’cause I don’t know exactly what kinda critters they got there. Just that I ain’t pettin’ ’em.

Believe it or not, my husband, Mister OCD himself, is less worried about this than I am. When I suggested that we all get Hepatitis A and B vaccines, he mocked me with, “I’ll tell you what, instead of doing that, let’s just not have any unprotected sex with strangers while we’re there.”

Haha, Smarty Pants. But, what if after I get bitten by the rabid creature on the dock, they rush me to a hospital where someone with hepatitis B sneezes into my rabies wound? Who’ll be laughing then? Nobody – that’s who.

Anyway, as a result of my new found beinggrossedoutness, I determined that the CDC should have gotten a more accurate URL. I thought would do nicely, but that seems to belong to Entertainment Weekly and they may well deserve it just as much.

Comments 1

  • I’ve always imagined the Bahamas to be my ultimate honeymoon location – which, sadly enough, I think was because I’ve always loved the Beach Boys song Kokomo. Well it was until I just read you post 😛 … the Bahamas are probably no worse than any other tropical paradise, but your way with words killed it for me 😀 (at least temporarily)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *