Year archives: 2003

Tight Squeeze

I took my daughter, Charlotte to Kentucky Kingdom today. We rode a couple of roller-coasters. The seat on the wooden coaster was pretty small. I almost had to grease myself up to get out of the seat when the ride was over. It makes me wonder if we should have gotten ice cream afterward. I …

Juggling Act

Michael has decided that Charlotte should learn to juggle. He is going to teach me too – even though he will be teaching an old dog new tricks. We had our first lesson tonight. He makes it look easy, so it’s fun just to watch him. We practiced throwing a stick into the air and …

Drive-In Cannibalism

We live in Louisville, KY. We drive cars and pay our taxes. Generally speaking, a man will only marry his sister here if he already got her pregnant. In other words, we try to maintain a certain appearance of civility. However, if you were to attend the Kenwood Drive-In Theater, you would see some of …

The Gilligan Hat

My husband insists on wearing a bucket hat when we travel out of state. It is the most essential part of his vacation wardrobe, because it serves a dual purpose. It protects his shaved head from the sun’s harmful UV rays, and it drives me crazy. He has little souvenir pins stuck in it. Lots …

Don’t Hurt Yourself or I’ll Kill You

My child is going to need therapy. I just asked her if she was getting a cold and noticed that there was accusation in my voice. How loony is that? As if my daughter were out looking for trouble and caught a cold. She wasn’t hanging around a doctors office asking people to sneeze in …

Both Sides Now

“In the twilight glow I see her blue eyes crying in the rain.” – Willie Nelson Well, I have indeed looked at clouds from both sides now. I used to actually like rain. I liked the pitter-patter on the roof. I liked the smell of it in the air. I even liked walking in it. …