A bored housewife jousts at windmills, pokes fun at everything from leg wax to Miss Manners.
Remember when Huey Lewis sung about it being “Hip to Be Square”? No? Well, he sung a lot of stupid stuff like that. Thing is, I’ve decided it’s hip to be late. So, today I’m going to tell you about two of my favorite April Fool’s jokes: Keeping Them Abreast This happened when Michael and …
“Debbie is a great student. She’s a joy to have in class. But, when it comes to math, it’s as if the Debbie I know leaves and someone else takes over her body.” – My fourth grade teacher, in conference with my mom Clearly demon possession was the only explanation for my exceptionally flimsy grasp …
“Keep passing the open windows.” – from The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving Does this man ever fucking blink? I lay there on the cool white sheets and tried not to look directly at his face. His presence made me want to squirm. The fact that he seemed to think he had walked into …
Yesterday, while removing a load of laundry from the dryer, I found six stones. Stones in your dryer is preferable to stones in, say, your gall bladder, and yet it’s not something most people relish finding. These particular six must have already been through the washer, and were politely waiting right inside the door when …
Whoever said, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely” was absolutely right in the absolutest possible sense of the word absolute. You see, I have absolute power over what I put on my site, and I indulge myself way too often. But, in warning you that I’m posting this just because I can, I’m hoping to alleviate any …
You’re traveling through another dimension, not only of sight and sound but of food. A journey into a wondrous refrigerator whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead. Your next stop: “The Salad Zone”… While humming gently to herself, Ms. Debossky places her salad onto the third shelf of her refrigerator. She …