A bored housewife jousts at windmills, pokes fun at everything from leg wax to Miss Manners.
I lied today. Unintentionally. Here’s what happened: I’m patiently listening to a lady named Janet tell me all about her life. I’m nodding graciously at intervals to show my interest and widening my eyes at all the appropriate moments. In case you can’t tell, I pride myself on my listening skills. So, I’m nodding along, …
Savant? Or, are these folks practically pissing themselves over a kid scribbling with paint? I can’t help but be skeptical. Maybe the art critic is getting a cut and laughing all the way to the bank? But, I know less than squat about art, so I put it to you. Bullshit or not?
Psst. Yeah, you. You know that actor Tom Arnold who used to be married to Rosanne Barr? Lower your inner voice. I don’t want him to hear us. Yeah, so, I think he’s on coke. I shit you not. I just watched him on The Ellen Degeneres Show. He says he is smoking a lot …
I’m tinkering with a recipes section. I said I’d have one months ago, and today is finally the day. There’s only one recipe in there right now, but I’ll be adding to it frequently until I either run out of recipes or bore of typing them in. I know this doesn’t count as a real …
Ingredients: 1 large lemon (juice and rind) 1 ½ cups all purpose flour 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. baking soda 6 tbsp. vegetable oil 1 tsp. vinegar (Yep, vinegar, but I promise you, you won’t taste it.) 1 tsp. vanilla Water Preheat oven to 350°. Put flour, sugar and baking soda into a mixing bowl. …
My letter to Quentin Tarantino: Dear Mr. Tarantino, After seeing your latest masterpiece, Kill Bill, I want desperately to throw some sweet lovin’ your way, because you just f*King rock. Nevermind the fact that I don’t find you physically attractive. I don’t even care. (Wait…Could we keep the lights off?) Other directors should be made …