Monthly archives: September, 2004

It’s the Little Things That Get Ya

My daughter is going to be eleven in December, so it’s fast approaching the time when I will be able to look back and laugh at the experiences I had at the hospital on the night she was born. I’m not quite there yet. Give me eleven more years. But, what the hell, I’ll share. …

Allergic to Avril

Far be it for me to criticize anybody’s art but my darling husband has been afflicting me with the radio quite a bit lately, and I feel a strong need to vent a bit. If you disagree with my usage of the word “afflicting”, you obviously haven’t been listening to a station that plays a …

Doctor’s Orders

My crown is a little loose, but the dentist doesn’t want to pull it out just yet and risk breaking it. So, she suggested I eat things like chewing gum and Now and Laters in an attempt to loosen it further. Back off, bud, this Laffy Taffy is prescription. Life is good.

Darn Tootin’

Conversations regarding my daughter’s first flute lesson.* Before: Me – I don’t think Charlotte could’ve picked a better instrument. I really like the flute. Michael – But, have you ever heard it played badly? After: Michael – How did you like your lesson? Charlotte – Fine. My teacher is cute. Me – Oh, lord no. …

Anatomy

When I was a teenager, I felt that my oppressive parents and my oppressive church and my oppressive grandparents had burdened me me with too many hang ups about my body, because, I thought, the human body is a beautiful thing. Yeah, not so much. Be thankful somebody shamed you into covering your hoo-ha. Nobody …

The Chair

In our home, the front room, which might have been used exclusively for having tea with important folks like the Queen of England or Sir Elton John, serves a more practical purpose – it’s the room where our whole family indulges in internet pleasures like blogging and playing Everquest. Each of us has a computer, …