Monthly archives: May, 2005

How Green Was My Valley…Bloody Carnage

I’m wearing braces on my teeth at age 38, because I’m a frickin’ masochist. Come on, baby, make it hurt so good. It just occurred to me that the orthodontist neglected to tell me the safe word. There’s got to be a safe word! How’s he gonna know when I really want him to stop? …

Note to Self: Be Less Obscure

trees. ollie and hardy. Do those words mean anything to you? Well, they don’t mean a thing to me, but I suppose they should. All that came to mind when I saw them was, “What the fuck is this?” Not exactly a Hallmark moment. Does anyone think I should attempt time travel to find out …

Secret Agent Man

Me – My husband is so paranoid. You – How paranoid is he? Well, we just got back from a California/Nevada trip, which you probably don’t know anything about, because I wasn’t allowed to release any information about our leaving until we were safely back home. Why? Michael – Nassty mean internetssses wants to steal …