Category «General»

Please, Mr. Postman, I Don’t Want a Divorce

Contrary to popular belief, the postman does not always ring twice. Sometimes post people only ring once, and other times they knock feebly so that no one could possibly hear them. This fact almost ruined my marriage. Michael has a door obsession. I was home on Monday when the post woman attempted to deliver the …

I Miss the Ants

We seem to finally be rid of the ants. They must have just gotten bored with my cooking and moved away. Unfortunately, they have been replaced by gnats. The gnats fly around my face and attempt to drink from my eyeballs. Why is that? I have a glass of water sitting right in front of …

Oops, I Broke the Bread

My husband surprised me with a bread maker a couple of months ago. Actually, I pointed and fretted and lay in the aisle at Sears kicking and screaming until he gave in and bought it for me. About 50% of the time the Breadman machine will make really good bread. The other half of the …

Getting This Out of My System

Apparently, I have to write this down, so that I can finally stop saying it. The new Tomb Raider movie is all about Laura Croft protecting her “box” from the bad guys. It seems to me that back in the good old days when young ladies wore chastity belts, they didn’t have to run around …

Taking It to the Streets

I think laughter is a way in which as people we can come together as one. Say you are in a large crowd of people of different ethnicities or nationalities. Maybe none of you even speak the same language. Let’s say you are all there together when Carrot Top is making a long distance commercial. …

Montezuma’s Revenge

Yep, I got it. I don’t think you can get it from just reading my site, though. I might just go ahead and write a nice eulogy for myself so that no one else will have to go to the trouble of doing it. I’ll start by saying, “Dearly beloved, I told you I was …