Year archives: 2003

If I Ever Turn Up Mysteriously Dead…

No doubt hundreds of internet porn sites have portrayed bored housewives in a sexy manner. The implication is that in our spare time we love to “service” servicemen. Housewife, in a sultry voice – “Thanks for fixing that troublesome sink, Mr. Stiff.” Plumber, bashfully – “No problem, Ma’am. Always a pleasure…Uh, what are yuh doin’ …

Fear of Commitment

My greatest challenge when I get my hair cut is getting the hair dresser to fully grasp just how much I don’t ever want to have to do anything to my hair ever again. No matter how many times I see a hair dresser he/she is always surprised at how much hair I want cut …

Migraines, Torture and Lizzie McGuire

About halfway through The Lizzie McGuire Movie, I screamed out, “Stop! I’ll tell you what you want to know! Just please don’t hurt me any more!” I have a nine year old daughter – I have had to sit through a lot of really bad movies. The Lizzie McGuire thing was exceptionally bad. Someone must …

Happy Mother’s Day

I love you, Mom. Can I borrow some money to buy you a gift? I lost all of our money at Caesars Indiana. It is the thought that counts after all, and I thought i’d win. Blame the casino, if blame must be placed. I don’t like finger pointing myself. You taught me that, Mom. …

My Dedicated Reader

I don’t have much of a following. That’s sad, because I already bought the Kool-Aid and arsenic. Is arsenic still in fashion? Maybe quinine is the poison of choice now. Or, maybe, I should just pass out cigarettes and let ’em die slow. In any case, my reader is very encouraging. He’s my husband, and …

Organized? I Don’t Play an Instrument

Since it’s still Friday for an hour, here are my answers to the Friday Five questions. 1. Would you consider yourself to be an organized person? Why or why not? I am not organized. I long to be organized and strive for it in my daily life, but it is always just beyond my reach. …