Silver Lining
The receptionist at our plumber’s office seems like such a genuinely nice person that I regret not having more to chat with her about than a leaky pipe.
Ouchy, Ouchy, Ouchy
Proving once again that, if you’re klutzy enough, even the simplest things can be hazardous, last night I managed to harm myself while eating hot and sour soup. Somehow I splashed the soup in my eye. Even if I hadn’t already given up on the possibility of leading a life of crime, that little accident …
Olympic Moments
Having no athletic ability whatsoever can really put a damper on a person’s Olympic dreams, so I’ve sort of resigned myself to the fact that the best I can do for my country on that particular front is to watch the games attentively from my couch while stuffing popcorn in my face. The sacrifices I …
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
Ok, so it’s time to fess up about Friday’s game. Thanks to everyone for playing! Most comments EVER! Woohoo! *clears throat and regains composure* Story 1 was true. It’s a little easier to believe if you know us personally. See, Michael uses the word “bitch” as a term of endearment for me. No, really. I …
Missing: One Canary
The best worst thing about me is my inability to lie with a straight face. If I catch a good hand at poker, everybody else at the table folds immediately – I’m that easy to read. So, today I’m overjoyed that I get to lie, and if I’m lucky, maybe even get away with it, …
If I’d had Popcorn, I’d Have Spilled It
The Village offered up a few surprises and a nice little love story to boot. Go see it. Now. My inner dialog during this movie: “WTF?” “Oh, that’s sooo sweet.” “Oh my god! NOOOOO! I can’t frickin’ believe this.” “No, don’t let her go!!!!” “Damn. I jumped pretty high just then.” “WTF!?” “WTF?!”