A bored housewife jousts at windmills, pokes fun at everything from leg wax to Miss Manners.
When I order a couple of pizzas and Michael asks me how much it costs, no matter what the price is, I always round up to about $35.00. Then he says, “Oh my God! That’s outrageous!” and generally has a fit. Thirty minutes later, when the pizza arrives and the delivery person says, “$26.00,” my …
If you ask me today why I’m a vegetarian, I will likely tell you that it’s mostly for environmental reasons, and that’s mostly true. But, it’s not the whole story. A big part of the reason I don’t eat animals anymore is that I’ve already tried them all. When I was a kid, my family …
The Courier-Journal has a big mugshot of me in it today. Unfortunately, the picture really looks like me. Nobody re-touched it to make me look like Pam Anderson. Shit! Doubly unfortunately, in the side-bar, they list me as having two kids. So, now I’m straining to recall where I left the other kid, because I …
Both my daughter and my husband are more than happy to ignore me most of the time. My daughter has her friends and my husband has his computer. They don’t need me… …unless I’m on the toilet. …unless I’m taking a relaxing bath. …unless I’m trying with some difficulty to concentrate on something else. On …
I’ve been doing so very little in recent months that my husband makes arrangements to have me cremated at least once a week. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he’ll notice a slight movement in my toe or something, and he whispers into the phone to the funeral director, “Icksnay on the urningbay. …
We were not in the theater to see “Revenge of the Sith” on the weekend it opened. I wasn’t feeling well, and rather than drag me anyway, Michael suggested we wait and see it some other time. As a result, he was shamed by his fellow geeks at work and now feels somewhat less of …